Your getting better nad better with this one!
This take is much better than the previous but we still have a lot of details to work on
I think there's no need to point other aspect before fixing the most importantone. PICKING DIRECTION.
One of the things that we are not allowed to change or to keep random is the direction of Your picking. The direction I show is the "key thing" i each alternate picking lesson. Direction assignment is a must learn - it's all about it when it comes to skipping strings etc. When I watch Your take I see that You use random picking and THIS IS THE CAUSE of many alternate picking problems. Once you learn how to get some usefull habits then You'll keep that skill for any future thing You play. If You miss those, You'll not profit with what's most important in the lesson.
Any way this take is a huge progress and I admire Your attitude!